One Week

So much has happened in such a short amount of time! I feel like I have been cut of from my little blogosphere and am now feeling up to regular postings again.

It has been one week since I've had surgery to remove my branchial cleft cyst. Surgery went well as far as surgeries go I guess. Most of what happened that day is a blur but, here's my recollection. Checked in at 6:30 a.m., went back to prep around 8:00 a.m., worked myself up so much about getting my IV put in I threw up as soon as the nurse got it in, I am such a baby. Anesthesiologist put the anesthesia in my IV, started getting sleepy while they wheeled me back, put me on the operating table and I was out around 8:30 a.m., next thing I remember was waking up in PACU (which I found out I was in for 2 hours before waking up) extremely sleepy. All I remember from that area is that I told the nurse that I liked her glasses (even though I couldn't open my eyes and wasn't wearing my glasses), my blood pressure dropped really low (like 70 something/something) and that the guy recovering next to me pooped on himself. I was transferred to another recovery room where Travis was and spent the next 6 hours in there struggling to wake up, forgetting to breathe every once and awhile, waiting for my blood pressure to get back to normal and throwing up IV fluids. Finally I woke long enough to move to a wheelchair and go home. Originally the surgeon was going to keep me over night but he was so pleased with my surgery that he decided to send me home that day, I was one of the first patients in recovery and the very last one out.
But anyway, it's been one week and recovery is going well, I am up and moving around and taking care of business as usual.

My super awesome cut

It's been one week since I've used shampoo. My hair is doing great! A bit greasy in the bangs but overall it feels pretty good! I'm pretty excited this is working out so well (so far).

Hair looks nice and clean still!

It's been one week since Lexi has nursed. I didn't nurse her the day of my surgery because I was pretty much dead to the world. Travis said she was nuzzling him at night but once she figured out he was the wrong person she rolled over and went back to sleep. I didn't nurse her the next day because I was pumped so full of drugs (I really didn't even know which ones) so instead of risking it she just didn't nurse. Then the days just kept going and now it's been one week. This may or may not be a coincidence but she has slept through the night 4 nights out of the week, which she's never done before in her life. (I am not suggesting that weaning your baby will make him/her sleep through the night. All babies are different. Weaning did not help Charlotte sleep through the night).

What sleeping through the night looks like

In one week, I've gotten further on a project I've been working on than I have in six months. I've been taking drastically large steps in order to be ready to start a toddler/preschool art group by Spring and I'm very excited about that!

Changes happening in the Art Studio!

I filled out my application for student financial aid. Yes, school again, and if it doesn't pan out this time I'm just cutting my losses. I have gone to school multiple times for art-related degrees, I finally just thought, why am I beating around the bush, I might as well go for just plain old art...education that is. 

ART TEACHER!

I am such a cool art teacher, check out my hot legs

We made our first appearance back to storytime. Once we got there I couldn't believe we hadn't been in so long and was wondering why, the kids love it and it's not even a hassle to get my butt up to take them. Glad to be getting back into the storytime groove.

Looking at the list now it doesn't seem like so much but I suppose when you think about doing all of this while recovering from surgery it seems like almost too much. So that's what's been going on since I've last blogged, hope all of my lurkers are doing well!

2010: A Photographic Review

I had a nice trip down memory lane picking out these pictures. I wasn't super surprised to see baby Lexi grow month to month into the big personality she is now but I was surprised at how much Charlotte still looked like a sweet baby at the beginning of 2010. She's practically a little lady now! Hope you enjoy my reflection of 2010.

January

We started 2010 off with snow, blech! It was pretty decent snow though, it wasn't crazy cold or windy or yucky and wet. Lexi was just starting to push up at 4 months old and Charlotte was such a sweetheart talking more and more at 26 months old.

February

Such sweet sisters! Lexi had learned to roll from belly to back and wouldn't stay on her belly for long. Charlotte went through a phase where she would squint her eyes and scrunch her nose whenever I took a picture of her, silly girl!

March

By March we were playing outside in short sleeves! Lexi was sitting up ready to go go go!

April

Enjoying the beach by April!! Wahoo! Charlotte was old enough to enjoy Easter egg hunting this year too!

May

Very thankful to have been able to spend Mother's Day with the most fabulous family at the Botanical Gardens.

June

Charlotte grew a beard in honor of her Daddy. 

*tear*

They grow up so fast...

July

Did our first old timey photo at King's Dominion, it was a blast! Was able to spend a morning capturing Lexi's budding personality while Charlotte slept in.

August

Charlotte turning into such a big girl and extremely silly like Daddy. Lexi crawling all over the place and climbing all over everything but refuses to walk! Celebrated a dear friend's wedding and had the best time out I've had in awhile!

September

Charlotte started dance class. This was a huge Mommy turning point for me, especially being a stay at home Mom. It took a lot for me to be alright with Charlotte in somebody else's care and not being able to see or hear her and know she is being a good girl. She loves the class though and that makes it so much easier for me. We made the most out of Speak Like a Pirate day by dressing like pirates and hitting the beach. Alexis turned the big 1 and had a luau to mark the occasion but still not walking! Travis lost his job the same weekend of Lexi's party.

October

Yay! Finally walking!! Lexi walked with her arms up for balance, the faster she walked the higher her arms went, extremely comical. Charlotte is such a little grown up by now (almost 3!) she's able to have full conversations and tell me exactly everything she wants and thinks. Travis was hired onto a new job but it sent him to Greensboro, NC to live without us.

 November

Found out I have a Branchial Cleft Cyst which I noticed around Lexi's birthday. Turns out it's a birth defect that didn't show up until 25 years later, woo...surgery was scheduled for the new year. The girls became roommates and they love it (for now). Char turned 3! We had an awesome Thanksgiving with family and friends.

December

December brought unexpected snow. A visit from Uncle Mikie, who lives in Japan. A road trip to Ohio for Christmas and lots of togetherness!

I can't wait to see what 2011 has in store for us!

Happy New Year Everyone!

ENT Follow Up

It's not cancer! Yippee Skippy!

Turns out it's a Branchial Cleft Cyst. Whatever that means.

From what I keep reading it's actually a birth defect, one that didn't affect me until 25 years later.
I guess it's one of those things that requires certain factors to trigger its growth, and those factors just happen to be a complete mystery.

I'm not quite sure if it's dangerous or anything, I've read a few things that say if it's left too long it can abscess (which I don't think I'd enjoy much) and get infected, blah blah blah.

So surgery is scheduled for January 2011 to remove it and possibly a tonsil as well (yes, just one). I get faint just thinking about it. I cannot even fathom having surgery. I really would rather NOT have surgery but I suppose that's the only option I have right about now and I have to get over it.

So I guess my mission now is to figure out how to get Alexis to sleep without nursing because I will be staying in the hospital overnight, at least I have 2 months! Wish me luck with that!

CT Scan

Today was my CT scan. It went as well as expected I suppose. I was pretty nervous, especially about the contrast dye part. I was under the impression they were going to inject it directly into the swollen gland but they actually put it in via IV (which is worse!) I'm pretty squeamish about needles, ugh! I was told two things about the dye, "It will make you feel warm" and "It will make you feel like you're peeing your pants but don't worry, you won't be"
Wait! WTF?!
Feel like I'm peeing my pants, seriously????
So the dye goes in, and I start feeling the warm sensation and yep, peeing the pants...eeeewwww
But I got more than a warm sensation, I started getting hot, like I was burning from the inside out, I was just about to be really uncomfortable when it stopped *phew*
The machine itself is actually quite daunting.
I did a little trial run without the xray on, the little bed moved into the circle and out of the circle, easy peasy.
Then I actually went in for a scan without the dye. That machine is so loud! The xray part starts spinning around you, faster and faster, I told my Mom it was almost like being in a jet engine.
Every rotation it makes is one "slice" of your body.
After that, they started the dye put me back in and I was done.
I think it took a total of 15 minutes tops.
I sat in the waiting room filling out paperwork for longer than that!
They printed the pics for me and sent me on my merry way without any explanations or anything.
I guess all I have to do now is stare at them wondering what they mean until my follow up appointment with the ENT. Here is one of the pictures with the contrast dye...

The mass is that huge dark gray egg on the left...as for deciphering what it is from this picture, your guess is as good as mine!

Done With Meds

So I just took my last antibiotic a few seconds ago. I should be happy about it (and I am to a point) but I feel more discouraged than anything. There has been absolutely no change with the lump (mass? I really don't know what to call it...) So steroids and antibiotics did not fix the problem and I'm on to the next plan, CT Scan. I have a CT Scan scheduled for Monday afternoon. Not sure if the radiologists (?) will be able to answer anything but I'm gonna try and get some sort of information from them as to what they think. There are some things I need to do to prep for the scan, drink lots of water and no eating 3-4 hours before, etc. but the one thing they told me that really stuck was that with the contrast dye I will need to pump and dump breast milk and avoid nursing Alexis for 24 hours. Ha ha, yeah right...You will see lots of sites telling you that information, but here is one and another that will help you make the decision for yourself. Medical professionals will always usually tell you either to pump/dump or wean just to play it safe to keep their butts from getting blamed for anything. I honestly can't blame them but, I can't believe them either which is why if I have a question about a medication that is safe while nursing I will always ask my local LLL leader, they will give you the most recent information about a medication in your milk supply so you can make the decision for yourself. But back on topic, Monday is the scan and then I have to wait 2 more weeks before my follow up appointment to go over the pictures. That's going to be a looooooong 2 weeks, especially since that's when I'll be finding out if I do actually need a biopsy or not (hopefully not) and then it will be Thanksgiving!
So now that's where I am...

Feeling Hopeful!

Today was the day of my biopsy. I have been sweating it big time. I hate needles and I hate having stuff done to me that I know is supposed to hurt but it doesn't because it's numb.
So the best news of the day was: I didn't get a biopsy done today! Woo!
The appointment was with an ENT Nurse Practitioner which, let me tell you, was a lot more informative than a general doctor.
She was extremely thorough, explained things without dicking around or sugar coating and I didn't feel like she was a cold hearted robot. I really liked her a lot and felt pretty good leaving the office. She was what I call "efficient".
She said the mass isn't fixed which is a good indicator it's probably not cancer but she still mentioned we can't rule it out.
I had to snort some nasty liquid (which tasted like ear wax) to numb my throat so she could stick an endoscope down my nostril and take pictures of my throat. That was a crazy weird experience and I hope I never have to do it again and I hope you don't have to do it either!
She told me they don't just do biopsies without trying other things first. So I was prescribed a 10 day round of antibiotics and steroids and after that I have to have a CT scan, then take the CT pictures to a follow-up appointment which is scheduled for November 23 and we'll discuss things from there.
So now that's where I am.
Here's hoping the antibiotics and steroids work, even though Travis says steroids are the last thing I need to give it, a little "it's big enough without beefing up on steroids" humor...

Terrified

I'm not even sure I want to blog about this but it might make me feel better. I mean, if it's nothing I'll feel stupid for worrying so much about it, but if it's something then people are going to be mad I didn't tell them sooner and I won't have an established support group.

So here goes, I have a swollen lymph node on my neck under my jaw. I've had it for about a month or so. Honestly I didn't think it was that noticeable. Travis claimed otherwise and was rather impertinent about telling everyone we met about it. Finally when my Mom came home he made a huge fuss about it and they made a huge fuss about it so I eventually agreed to go have it checked out.
Travis was also quite convinced it would be an easy fix with taking antibiotics, turns out not quite. I had basic blood work done to see what was going on and all the blood work they did came back normal. So I got the news I was afraid I would hear, I need to get a biopsy done.

The only word that comes into mind when I hear biopsy is CANCER. I know I shouldn't get all worked up about it now and try not to freak but when I get on Google and start searching things like lymphoma it's hard not to make the connections. There are other things it can be but obviously cancer is the main thing on my mind.

So that is where I'm at now, I have a biopsy scheduled for tomorrow and I'm assuming the results will take a couple of days to get back. I have a huge pit in my stomach. I am scared to get a biopsy, I really really am not looking forward to having a needle stuck into my neck and I'm really really scared to wait on results and I'm really really scared to get results back.

I'm so thankful to have my Mom back now, she will be going with me tomorrow. I know Travis feels terrible he can't be here since he is down in NC but I know he would be back here in a flash if worst comes to worst.

I'll update after the biopsy to fill everyone in and then of course I'll update on the results which I have my fingers crossed will be something easy to fix.

Wish me luck.