Terrified

I'm not even sure I want to blog about this but it might make me feel better. I mean, if it's nothing I'll feel stupid for worrying so much about it, but if it's something then people are going to be mad I didn't tell them sooner and I won't have an established support group.

So here goes, I have a swollen lymph node on my neck under my jaw. I've had it for about a month or so. Honestly I didn't think it was that noticeable. Travis claimed otherwise and was rather impertinent about telling everyone we met about it. Finally when my Mom came home he made a huge fuss about it and they made a huge fuss about it so I eventually agreed to go have it checked out.
Travis was also quite convinced it would be an easy fix with taking antibiotics, turns out not quite. I had basic blood work done to see what was going on and all the blood work they did came back normal. So I got the news I was afraid I would hear, I need to get a biopsy done.

The only word that comes into mind when I hear biopsy is CANCER. I know I shouldn't get all worked up about it now and try not to freak but when I get on Google and start searching things like lymphoma it's hard not to make the connections. There are other things it can be but obviously cancer is the main thing on my mind.

So that is where I'm at now, I have a biopsy scheduled for tomorrow and I'm assuming the results will take a couple of days to get back. I have a huge pit in my stomach. I am scared to get a biopsy, I really really am not looking forward to having a needle stuck into my neck and I'm really really scared to wait on results and I'm really really scared to get results back.

I'm so thankful to have my Mom back now, she will be going with me tomorrow. I know Travis feels terrible he can't be here since he is down in NC but I know he would be back here in a flash if worst comes to worst.

I'll update after the biopsy to fill everyone in and then of course I'll update on the results which I have my fingers crossed will be something easy to fix.

Wish me luck.